This site has been down so its been awhile since I have written anything in the journal. The holidays are over which i am glad. They were so hard to get through without my baby here. Days and months are passing but things dont seem to be getting any better for me. I still cry daily and I suppose I always will. I think the reality of it all is setting in with me and I now realize more than ever this is a forever thing. I have dreams in which you come home, you were just away at someones house for awhile and when you come home I hold you and hug you and never want to let you go. and then I wake up. I love you my precious baby boy, you are and will always be my baby. I miss you so much and it is so very hard to go on living without you. I go through my day but am I really living? I dont think so only existing until the day when I am with you again.